I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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