This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
