worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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