when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
