Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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