Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Rumble strips road head = magical
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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