dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
