Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
