I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize