What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He passed out mid-signature
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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