An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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