We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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