Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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