The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
