Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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