i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
