FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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