help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
