I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize