When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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