We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
whose parrot is this?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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