dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
