1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
