At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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