when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
