u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
