it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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