I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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