That's when you crack a 10am beer
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
