Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
