Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
