also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
