Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize