then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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