forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
