so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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