its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
