waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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