i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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