That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize