I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of course I have a pirate flag
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
