Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just saw a hot homeless man
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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