I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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