apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
