I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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