took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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