wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
