PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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