I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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