I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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