Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
