dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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