Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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