So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
