So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
