Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
