stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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