Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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