he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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