i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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