I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
