8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
