Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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