i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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