nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
