moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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