idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
