I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
